Challenge Extended: Positivity 2013, Will You Accept?

In college, someone once said to me that she always liked that I had so much "positivity". I didn't know what she meant back then. Did I giggle a lot in class? Was I overbearingly complimenting every thing I see? "Positivity" didn't used to have so much meaning back then because being 18, it was fairly easy to coast through the challenges life had to throw.

On the last few days of 2008, I went through one tough challenge. It felt like ten truckloads of ice were dumped on me. I faced New Year 2009, and several months after that, feeling my world ended and the future was bleak and ugly. My battle scars from that challenge remain, but these hardly bother me now. I know I got through fine because I went through a period of soul-searching and finally understood what "being positive" meant.

I found resiliency I didn't know I had in me that other challenges I've faced since then are usually settled with me feeling unfazed and unruffled. Positivity made me reasonably stronger and focused.  And I've become a firm believer of "shaping your life for the better, if you constantly think happy thoughts."

This isn't to say that I had to live in delusion and denial during those tough times. I could write something about that in the future, but for now, with the year ending and 2013 merely hours away, I'm posting this challenge to anyone who will accept:

I found this bit in one of the self-help/happiness pages I subcribe to on Facebook and I know that this may seem fairly easy to do...in the beginning. But, you know, what have we got to lose by doing this? I think it's a good way to motivate people.

To make it more fun, I proposed to a couple of friends to throw in a few hundred bucks each time we put a note in our jar. So that, by the end of the year, we'd have little money saved up to use...for whatever. (Shopping money, wheee!)

I'm actually very excited to do mine, that  the possibility of me slacking with this activity by the middle of the year, is something I'm trying not to get into. (POSITIVE THOUGHTS, dude!)

I didn't get an empty jar per se. Instead, I am making use of this old canister... coz I like that it has PRETTY FLOWERS.  And I'm gonna have to put that as one of my first notes! See? I'm starting with something positive already!

So, are you up for the challenge? I'm gonna be checking back in a couple of months for progress! Deal?

This Downtime is Brought To You By...

I haven't blogged in three days! Guess I'll just have to throw this "goal to blog every weekeday" out of the window.

Most people are taking a holiday break now. I'm actually on break most weekdays. My to-do list is pretty empty, save for a couple of manageable deadlines and routine housework (the life of a WAHM!).

I think I'm finally getting the rhythm back with new schedules and stuff to do, especially after that unexpected transition last month that came with a few hitches thereafter.

So, this is how it's gonna be now.

I'm taking it all in.

Thus, the downtime.

Be back in a few...

Reflections on the Newtown Tragedy

Yesterday, I woke up knowing that the world is a lot less safe. We all did.

We woke up to a world where 20 innocent children, between the ages of 6 and 7, will never get to celebrate Christmas in Newtown, Connecticut.  Their parents will never get to hug them anymore, or see them grow up to be who there were supposed to be.

As a mom, it's very hard to imagine what these kids' parents will have to face for the rest of their lives. As a human being, it's difficult to process how someone can do a heartless and brutal thing like that.

Within minutes after the news broke, the issue on gun ownership in America is once again raised. Numbers and statistics are argued upon, proving or disproving the (constitutional) "right to bear arms" in the land of the free.

I won't pretend I know what their laws about guns are in the US, nor get into its long and painful history. There have been plenty of solid arguments, for and against the phrase you've probably heard a lot of since yesterday: "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." 

But I think that more than gun ownership and its acquisition, there are far bigger issues to this in that  ----  there is a need to change the attitude towards gun ownership and it relates to one's attitute towards aggression. And that change in attitude? It actually begins at home...

• When we teach our children to learn how to handle disapointments, anger and frustration.
• When we teach our children how to relate and understand what these feelings are.
• When we teach our children the consequences of resorting to violence. 
• When we acknowledge our children with love and recognition, especially when they are not behaving their best. 

Society evolves and so some laws must change.  This is why there are people pushing for stricter laws to buying guns, believing that this can help minimize mass killings and deaths.

But the children? With or without these laws set, they will continue to be overwhelming exposed to different types of what's wrong with the world today. They will see violence in the media. They will deal with their own failures and dissatisfaction. They will be confronted with the challenges of life.  This goes back to an earlier post I've made on becoming resilient in light of the many disappointments we all encounter.  And I believe that the best way to protect our children from getting in harm's way, doing harm and causing harm...is in educating and guiding them.

Without proper rearing especially during childhood, an adult can unpredictably snap and may find himself holding a weapon ---- a gun, a knife or his bare hands --- and committing an act of terror. A study on human behavior outlined something like this, in trying to understand why people end up doing the unfathomable.

This is not to disregard that gun control isn't the problem, because it really is. But this Newtown tragedy is something many parents, like me, can learn from. And the way I see it is that it really comes back to the basic: a parenting issue.

I Know What Anne Hathaway is Getting From Santa For Christmas!

Ho! Ho! Ho! Is this gonna be on Santa's nice list or naughty list?

I'm talking about that curious incident that happened to Anne Hathaway at the New York premiere of her new film Les Miserables. "Little Anne Hathaway" decided to show up and the paparazzi had a field day! And by little Anne Hathaway,  I mean....ehhh, you know what I mean! It was all over the news!

The next day (and night), Anne was all over American TV saying how mortified she was that it happened, while managing to also talk about her movie. Pretty convenient, huh?

She said in a morning show:

"It kind of made me sad on two accounts. One was that I was very sad that we live in an age when someone takes a picture of another person in a vulnerable moment and rather than delete it, and do the decent thing, sells it."

And I’m sorry that we live in a culture that commodifies sexuality of unwilling participants, which brings us back to Les Mis, that's what my character is, she is someone who is forced to sell sex to benefit her child because she has nothing and there's no social safety net."

Now, I love this girl. LOVE HER. With or without her panties.

But there are some points I'd like to raise from this...because, you know, it matters to the quality of my life. And yours. [/sarcasm]

First, I've kept tabs of her Saturday Night Live appearances, the three times she's hosted that show and I've seen most of her movies. (Did I mention that I love her? LOVE HER!) There's this one particular movie that stands out to me right now: Havoc, where she didn't seem to mind baring it...for the sake of art. So, I'm not so sure if she was such an "unwilling participant"--- as she said in the interview, in this one. (BTW, clever use of words --- "unwilling participant". It has the tone of a publicist!)  Anyway, to have her "commodified" wouldn't be so pitiful, nor right, nor wrong in this context. Because this is how the game called "Hollywood" works (where Hollywood = commodity). And I guess, she has to play it, if she wants to survive it, right? Work is work. Business is business.

I know, I know...you will probably want to point out --- why would a movie like Les Miserables, with its powerhouse cast, resort to this type of publicity? I could be mistaken, but ...people have shorter attention span these days. We are easily distracted by a lot of things. We are doing ten things at the same time with our gadgets and our social media profiles. A movie like this? It's actually a hardsell.  Especially when not everyone appreciates musicals....and culture, for that matter. At least not a typical, average movie-goer. Les Miserables could be easily forgotten with the next scandal or hot news (named Kim Kardashian) swooping --- errr whoring --- the spotlight for their next 15 minutes. Because so much stuff is going on in the world already and we have 24/7 access to it, the hype around the movie has to be sustained. And how you do that? With stunts like this! Boom!

Second, why she wasn't wearing any undies is really not anybody's business. Not even her mom's. She can do whatever she pleases, no matter how many women will say it's uncomfortable to be without clothing down there. Thrush, cooties and whatnot? That's her problem!

However, anytime a woman steps out of her bedroom wearing no panties should be aware that anything can happen. Much so, if she's a woman stepping onto the red carpet knowing these paparazzi are gonna be crouched down to the ground with their zoomers zooming up the butt. I've learned this watching a little bit of TMZ 101. Apparently, Anne didn't. Not even after a similar incident with Paris, Britney and Lindsay. I'm not saying she brought this upon herself. Or that she shouldn't have forgotten her undies. All I'm saying is --- being aware, of yourself and your surroundings? Very important!

Third, I saw the photo without the pixelation and I dunno about you but... if you've seen one vagina, you've seen 'em all. Which is to say that, this exposure? Not really a big deal!  Only, the media is making it so. Why? Because she's gorgeous Anne Hathaway, with a high profile movie about to hit the theaters. Sleazy photographers will grab the opp to sell something audience (us!) will buy.

Which goes back to my first point: This is a stunt. That needs to trend and remain trending. It got people to talk, at least for a day (or two, or five).  And it will have people remember, at least until the movie starts its run and then people can talk about the movie then.

Meanwhile...Hollywood? The system wins again. Someone's definitely Ho! Ho! Ho-ing! all the way to the bank with this. $$$

The Family Without The Christmas Spirit

Unlike most houses everywhere, we still have no Christmas decorations in the house to this very day. In fact, we haven't done this for years. Or I haven't done this for years. I think I've stopped putting up decorations the year after my son became a pre-teen and was no longer thrilled by all the lights and colors. When I stopped doing this, no one seemed to mind the lack of decoration in the house, just as no one seemed to mind to help when I put it or clean it up afterwards. This year, the most you'll probably see anything "Christmas" in this house is through the placemats I'm planning to use on Christmas eve, and the lunch and dinner that will follow the next day.

Unlike most families everywhere, Christmas in our house is celebrated without presents that will be opened on Christmas eve. The gifts we have for each other will either be given as it is, with no wrappings or trimmings; or have been given way ahead...like back in September. This year, my son actually knows what he's getting coz he's the one who chose it. There will be no pretty packages and no surprises. I find that celebrating Christmas with my boys? Not quite the production I get when I celebrate it with girlfriends or my big extended family.

On Christmas eve, we would eat Noche Buena like most families. Only, dining at 12 midnight is something we also do on some nights when one of the boys start craving for a midnight meal. So midnight feasts? Not something out of the ordinary.

There will be no parties and there will be no partying at other houses. Visits to friends or families will be done any other day. But on Christmas day? We're having a staycation, we're pigging out and settling on the bed with our gadgets and devices. We would all be hooked up to the internet or probably watching something on TV all day, as always.  Together, but each preoccupied with doing something else.

In fact, I will be working for 10 hours the day everyone is celebrating Christmas. It is not something I decided without consulting my boys, of course. But when I told them I've been asked to render 10 hours of work on Christmas Day, both my boys said to go ahead and do it...."We're all gonna be doing the same thing we do everyday on Christmas, anyway." 

My family's lack of enthusiasm for Christmas may be really weird for others. But it's the kind of "family tradition" that works for our small unit. Reunions, the crowded-but-fun Christmas parties (that I also enjoy, just not with my boys!)? My boys would be bored by it, to be honest.

The other day, my Mom was reminding my Dad, who is going to visit our hometown for Christmas, to not forget the gifts and the treats for family back there. What my Dad said, sounding slightly miffed at the reminder given to him the nth time, is perhaps the best way to describe what Christmas is really like for us, particularly our son, the husband and I. He said, "We always give them gifts and treats and do the same 'special' stuff even when it's not Christmas anyway, so what's the difference?"

I Saw The Sign and so This is My Favorite Movie for 2012!

I watched Pitch Perfect a total of three times in about five days. Loved it. Loved it. Loved it.

I'd be so bold as to declare Pitch Perfect as my favorite movie of the year. But I admit that the storyline is quite thin and formulaic. That's forgivable, however, because the characters in this movie, despite the tropes and stereotypes, really shine and complement each other.

I love the energy and the vibe of the film. Anything that has dancing or singing in the plot is worth-watching for me. A bonus, if it makes me laugh, too.

But I really wasn't expecting to enjoy the movie this [                  ] much. Never mind if I've been singing Ace of Base's "I Saw The Sign" in my head a lot after watching.

Pitch Perfect stars Anna Kendrick who reminds me of a younger version of Tina Fey. I wasn't aware Kendrick could sing beautifully, or that she's a celebrated theater actress. I think I first saw her watching Up In The Air, where she worked with George Clooney, and I liked her performance there. But I also saw 50/50 and I barely remember her on it. With Pitch Perfect, though, I think I've just turned into her fan.

Equally surprising was finding out Brittany Snow and Anna Camp could also sing. I like these girls when I see them on TV.  I appreciate them better as performers now, knowing how musical they can be, too.

Apart from the singing, Pitch Perfect is a girly girl's movie featuring this blossoming romance between the lead character and a cute, perfect-boyfriend type of guy, who can also sing really well. Yet it's not nearly cheesy as many chick flicks are.  In fact, there were moments when I got the same feeling I had watching Say Anything, which is only the most romantic film in my book.

The movie also makes use of a reference to a scene from The Breakfast Club, which I think made this whole thing even more appealing to me.

I believe I'll be watching this movie a fourth, a fifth, or maybe a tenth time this holiday break, coz that's how much I really enjoyed it!

Here's a short trailer, if you haven't seen it yet:

Big Butts and Nail Polish, Who Would've Thunk It??

Oh, wow....I finally get to use the word "thunk" haha!

From the Urban Dictionary

I was browsing online when I saw this. Beautiful holiday shades, I thought. Perfect polish colors to wear for Christmas, I thought.

A closer look revealed that these lacquers are actually contained in a bottle that's shape like a woman's butt. Big, round butts. Shocking!

And the product is aptly called BOOTIE BABE. Ha! How...cheeky!

I can't seem to get passed the shape of the bottles. But they do offer really nice colors, I know I would wear it if I could get my hands on it. That is, after I stop giggling about the bottle. Because I am immature.

Seriously though, why would anyone think to use this container? Is it a prank product? A fetish? A sex toy?

According to this site, Bootie Babe is from Mark 'O Hara, a San Francisco-based designer and funk musician who used to be in a band called SuperBooty.  The band has since broken up. But back when they had gigs, O' Hara would often come up with band merchandise featuring a lady's derriere as its logo.

In designing Bootie Babe, he said he wanted something that would stand out. And he's quite right about that. Those bottles sure are different!

He says of his polish collection:

"Some women don’t appreciate this product because they think it’s sexist. But they love it in Brazil!”

 “My band was so silly. It would be great to bring a little levity to the beauty industry. Why can’t it just be fun?”

He's kinda right about that, too!


Time Magazine is said to be featuring the product this week, according to their Facebook page.

So, how about that? I suppose those butt bottles make this product quite interesting. But ultimately, it's the choices of colors and the quality of the lacquers that will make this sellable.

What We Can Learn from That Prank That Went Royally Bad

You've probably read or heard this news this weekend. One of the nurses at the hospital where Kate Middleton stayed for a few days due to HG, committed suicide just two days after a prank was pulled on her and her co-nurses. This prank was done by two Australian DJs, "shock jocks" as they call them, whose program is known to do this sort of thing.

The nurse who took her life was the one who picked up the DJs' call and patched it through Kate's nurse. In other words, she wasn't able to screen the call, and so the other nurse thought they really were talking to the Queen of England and gave updates about their patien's condition.

Here's a proper report:

Cropped from Sky News

People have been too quick to blame the DJs for pulling this prank, being the instigators of what others say was a mean joke.  To a some extent, I would agree that the jocks are not completely blameless. However, this story has sprung so many other issues that made me realize a few things:

1) This is no longer the era of Candid Camera. This is the era of Twitter and Facebook; of social media where most "breaking news" happen even before legitimate news agencies have it.  The stunts pulled by pranksters today are bolder and more dangerous. And yet they continue to exist because there will always be someone who will "get" the joke and would want more of it.

Is it bad to like pranks? Most people would say it isn't nice to laugh at someone else's expense. While I admit that I get a kick out of watching Japanese prank videos on Youtube and I laugh really hard at how "Wow, Mali!" pull theirs, I would probably not be laughing if those happened to me. I don't know how it is on the radio, but I am aware that on television,  most of these shows normally have to ask their "victims" to sign a release before they can air it. But when something like this happens to you even if you don't consent to having it out in public, you still cannot take the experience of the humiliation back.

And when it's on the internet, it's there forever.

The game has changed for us now. Anything we do or say can actually be used against us with just a simple video upload or a photo update on Twitter.

People on the internet can sometimes get too carried away and make a big deal out of the littlest things. I'm fully aware of this, being a netizen who has bitten into the hype more than once. And that's the reason why campaigns like this exist.

2) We have lost sight of respect and compassion for others. By its very nature, pranks have all the intention of mischief.  By its definition, "mischief" is supposed to be just playful. You know... like how kids are being playful. It's supposed to be naughty but harmless, and that you'd have to have the tiniest bit of sense of humor to appreciate it.

But like I said, the pranks pulled today are so dangerous, lines can be crossed. Which is to say that our actions really have this ripple effect on other people.

We can never assume that the other person would be okay with what we do. What we can learn from this is that maybe before we actually pull something off, we need to think about its repercussions a million times. And then, if we clearly see that the other person is not okay with what's been done, then maybe the best thing to do would be to ask for discretion to avoid offending further.

3) We need to be armored with resiliency. Because humiliation can immediately go on a global scale, if our heart is too weak for it, the anguish of going through the motions can be truly unbearable, to the point that taking your own life may be the answer.

But...news flash:  life is already challenging long before the world changed. Unfortunate incidents happen and continue to happen to all of us. There will always be that person who will cross us and offend us. So what could be so, so bad that the only solution would be death?

Suicide, they say, is the act of the weak. And I would've believed that statement a few months ago, only I just recently lost a family friend because of it. It still baffles me a great deal, to this day.  Which brings me back to what I said earlier: we can never assume we know what the other person is going through.  What we've got to do, though, is learn how to cope with life's challenges, bounce back and pick up the pieces.

All Boxed Up!

Have you subscribe to any of these box-y deals online? I dunno what you call it, but after the group-buying system that become such a hit last year (Groupon, Metrodeal, and so on), this is probably going to be next biggest buying concept that will spawn a lot of copies.

I first learned of this last year, while helping run a Gossip Girl site (in which case I had to live and breathe Gossip Girl stuff I could find anywhere on the internet). One such boxing service (seriously, what are they called???) released an exclusive box filled with beauty products apparently used by the girls on the show. Like so:

Photo Credit

I really liked the idea, but since it wasn't available here, I never paid attention to the nitty-gritty of the concept of these boxed freebies. (I still dunno what to call them!)

But we Filipino folks usually catch on pretty fast. Because we now have four of these services in our midst.

Take your pick!

Salad Box

Glamour Box

BDJ Box

Sample Room

How it works is that you pay a certain fee monthly or for half the year,  and every month, you should receive a box of goodies or sample products from different health and beauty companies. Some of these boxes contain items of 4-5 or even more, costing over Php2000 if you buy them at stores. Membership is between Php450 to Php650 a month. I'm not sure if this includes the shipment fee, though.

From these four sites I've listed, only Sample Room requires no fee at all. But you get to try a product for FREE, as long as you have enough points to avail of it and if you pay the shipping cost. I'm already signed on to Sample Room, which debuted this week, but I haven't used my free points yet and will wait for the offering next month.

For the rest of these...box sites (give me a term please!!!), I've read countless of blogs with their unboxing entries and photos of what are usually inside these boxes. You can google them up if you're curious. The sites also feature the products offered, by the way.

Most of the items are available locally, but some boxes do contain products I've never heard before, or are probably only seen at bazaars.

You can read up on how their system works by following the links below:

Sample Room - HOW IT WORKS
BDJ Box - HOW IT WORKS
Glamour Box - HOW IT WORKS
Salad Box - HOW IT WORKS

They also have their own Facebook pages, so follow and like the page to get an idea.

Are you going to sign up?

What Would Lord Grantham Do?

I was supposed to be a part of a field trip today. And by field trip, I mean I was supposed to be part of this small blogger event.

We were invited to go to this plant tour somewhere in the south and I've been really looking forward to it because 1) I use a lot of this company's products, 2) I haven't been in a field trip for so long, there's something I know I can learn from this trip, and 3) after all these years, it's my first time to join something organized for bloggers, I could start networking then.

By 6 AM, I was prepared to leave the house to go to the directed meeting place. Only, the help I've been counting on to arrive early, never arrived at all.

Days prior to this, I've been asking the help if she was alright with the schedule and if it was okay for her to come to work really early. Each time I asked, she gave me a solid yes, so I didn't think we would have any problems.

I wouldn't be able to go if I couldn't find someone to be at the house. She knows that drill too well, having worked for me for awhile now. I needed her mostly because I really require someone to watch over my dogs when I'm not home. This sort of thing is what most people would probably consider as  #firstworldproblem. But like I mentioned in a previous entry, my dogs can be high maintenance and I couldn't gamble on leaving them just like that. Fortunately, this doesn't happen often because I have the husband and the son to rely on. But on this particular day, when the son has to be in school and the husband is still oversease,  I really, really needed help. And I was assured I will get help.

To cut the long story short, I was not able to go to the field trip. I didn't even receive any advise from the help until 3 PM today. Her excuse was lame, as expected. Something about her kids getting sick since Tuesday and how she's been neglecting them. Which I don't really understand because she comes in 4x a week only and works between 8:30am to 3:00pm.  This is the first time she's become unreliable and this has been her first no-show. So, what gives?

[/end rant]

Based on my conversation with her, it wasn't also clear whether she plans to return to work anymore. So I could probably be without any help for a while again. Most days, I could survive without a maid.  I like doing chores in the house. But these dogs we have, they take a lot from me, you know? So having someone else come to sub for me could do wonders for my sanity. I guess that's really what I'm paying them for.

Domestic problems are very common. We've all been there. We've all come up with decisive ways to deal with it. I seem to have one year after year, which only strengthens my belief that it's really hard to find good help nowadays.

I still don't know what my plan is with this helper situation. Do I even consider letting her come back or should I just find someone else and make new adjustments again? I really don't want to re-train someone and have her get used to the dogs and vice versa.

Oh, well.

WWLGD?

Lord Grantham is the Earl of Downton Abbey, a fictional English aristocratic house with 20+ servants. Lord Grantham does not experience trivial problems like mine because when one servant is unavailable, he can just ask the 19 others on his beck and call. And he has only one dog, so....

Hyperemesis Gravidarum is the New Black

Sorry, that title isn't right. I know I shouldn't make light of the condition and see it as trivial when, according to a lot of women who have gone through Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG), it's a hundred times worse than a pregnant woman's usual morning sickness.

But the media is abuzz with HG these days, ever since the royal announcement was made to the world that Princess Kate is pregnant with the future King (or Queen) of England. But the announcement also said that she needed hospital stay at this stage in her pregnancy because she is suffering from Hyperemesis Gravidarum.

The news report from the BBC

Apparently, some women who've dealt with HG especially, are not too happy the media is calling this "acute", when HG can be very debilitating. Apart from the nausea and morning sickness that normally comes with pregnancy, the mother could suffer from malnutrition and HG could pose serious complications for both her and the baby. The condition can even last the whole pregnancy.

Kate Middleton

I didn't know about HG till this Kate Middleton report.  I didn't know a lot of pregnant women suffer from it, that there's actually a foundation to help them deal with the condition.

You think morning sickness is just what it is, with the intensity varying from one mother to another. I had normal episodes, thankfully. And I don't know anyone who's been through HG.

But for moms-to-be who've suffered through it, the experience is described as hellish, never "acute", and thus not something to be taken lightly.

Read more about Hyperemesis Gravidarum here. Novelist Charlotte Bronte was said to have died as a result of having HG.

I wonder how many pregnant Filipino women go through HG and if many Filipino families understand that this is not normal. Is our health care system reliable when it comes to treating moms with HG?

Where I Write About Nothing To Write And Actually Give You Tips!

It's finally happening, folks. I have nothing to blog.

When I opened this site two weeks ago, I had every intention to go back to blogging hardcore, like I did several years ago. I wanted to do it because there's always stuff in my head that needs to be written down. Expecially when I have this disease called "overthinking".

But there lies the problem. Sometimes, I have no will to write and I also have this disease called a "brain drain". Which is why something like Twitter (or a more private Facebook status update) helps with my thought process. But because I don't wanna fall off the wagon and start missing doing daily entries during the weekdays, I'm forcing myself to think of something to write.

This most common problem happens to the best of us: I have no shit to write about. So, what do I do? I write about having nothing to blog, hoping maybe it will get me out of this rut.

I thought I should come up with tools I use to help me source out topics and inspiration....so, here goes:

NOTEBOOK (using real paper)

I keep a little notebook in my bag at all times. I know many gadgets have this notebook feature. I have it on the smartphone, the tablet and the computer...because it's 2012 and almost 2013, we need to get used to the digital age. But I find that relying in apps on those gadgets makes me lazy.

I need an actual notebook; having to use a pen to write, or flipping paper pages to fill it out, or getting my top caught in its wires (one too many!!!). It has to be old-school realistic. Somehow, it reminds me of having to accomplish those daily assignments we all used to do in school (remember?). I need discipline like that to keep writing.

I learned about keeping notebooks a few years ago, reading seasoned bloggers who do this professionally. One of them said that having a notebook helps when a thought strikes, for she could immediately write the gist of it down, wherever she is, and expound on it later when she's on the computer.

My notebook has no gists or really anal stuff like that, but it has a list of topics. I had planned on doing blog entries about these topics, only even before I could, I've edited myself out and crossed it off my list.

I think that there are certain topics that would not be necessary to blog about anymore, like what's for dinner or what cute stuff I've bought, and where I last went...when there's my Instagram for those. This pretty much means that, for the moment, my notebook is useless then, huh? Although I would still like to keep it inside the bag. Because one day, I may actually need it and follow through that discipline I was talking about earlier.

BOOKMARKING

Aside from jotting down topics on a handy notebook, I bookmark pages I browse on the internet to use as reference for writing.

There's a nifty tool called Evernote that I used to abuse before. But I've since ditched it when the browser I am using incorporated this Evernote-like feature, minimizing my need for running one program too many on my computer.

These are what I've bookmarked currently, with the latest topics on top. --->

It's a long list of websites I could go back to  when I need to finally write something, or meet a deadline. This list is partly fluff and partly important, work-related and non-work related, since unfortunately, unlike Evernote, this browser-ready feature doesn't have folders where I could organize what I've bookmarked into categories.

But it's still pretty efficient and I would recommend bookmarking and clipping to anyone who wants to get on track with writing.

PAGES SUBSCRIPTION

Most people think Facebook is the devil. You could get lost in this site for hours doing mindless stuff like gossiping, fighting with someone over a silly status post, sending out passive-aggressive thoughts and stalking...among other things.

If there's one feature I like about Facebook is in following virtually any type of page that's on it.  These pages are goldmines of source materials for what to write about.

I think I have more than 1500 Pages "liked" now and I still browse over the suggestions Facebook provides because there could be something interesting there.  It has helped me lots of times with work, in fact.

To organize all these pages, I make use of Facebook's Interest feature. Don't know how to do it? Here's how (click photo to enlarge):

How to create an INTEREST list on Facebook

I basically picked this from one of the pages I follow, so see, being on Facebook can be productive and proactive!

And there it is...I finally was able to do today's blog entry! :D And even dished out tips. HAH!!

So, what about you, what do you do when you're stuck in a rut and can't begin writing?

Stay Safe, Mindanao!

I no longer live there, haven't done so for the last 18 years,  but it's weird to see this image of that new typhoon threatening regions in Mindanao this week.

Typhoon Pablo's projected tracks in Mindanao

And for some reason, I can't go back to sleep. Like I also need to stand vigil, just in case we need to evacuate or something. Crazy, when I now live thousands of miles away in Luzon.

I was born and raised in Davao City and it didn't used to be this way in that region. When there are news of class suspensions because of a typhoon in Manila,  I used to have this tinge of envy knowing Manila kids can sleep longer and watch a lot of TV.  On a school day!

My grandmother, however, would always say we were quite lucky to be living in a region where there are no storms. I didn't understand what she meant by "lucky" until I moved permanently in Manila in the 90's, where I survived flooding (while 5-months pregnant) in '97 and I continue to witness how these recent storms and heavy rains can quickly paralyze and devastate my neighborhood.

These days, when classes are suspended, I get a tinge of irritation knowing my son is missing out on school. Of course, he would spend the rest of the day sleeping and sleeping coz --- I've since learned, living here for nearly two decades --- the storms normally cut the power off and you can't do much. (What? No TV???)

There's a wave of concern and worry going through me now, as updates on Typhoon Pablo's tracks pour in. Perhaps it's because I've lived through a number of flooding, I'm still traumatized by it. Or perhaps it's because I still have family and friends there who are, no doubt, growing frantic about what could possibly happen. It bothers me that they have to experience this. Pablo isn't a typical storm. If it were in the US, it would be a Category 5. Who wouldn't be freaked out by that?

Anyway, there's not a lot people can do when a storm hits but prepare and keep safe, or hope that the storm weakens or change its course and head to the sea.

People in Manila always get back on their feet as soon as the storm leaves. We're so used to it, I guess, that it really is part of living here. Those in Mindanao, however, are still coming to grips with this new reality. Binabagyo na rin ang Mindanao ngayon. Imagine that?! My Lola, if she were still alive, would think it impossible.

To those in Mindanao, I hope you are safe. The most important thing I've learned, stranded in a pool of murky water outside our village during Ondoy, is to have lots of good, clean water on standby.

Liking This Post Will Ensure Your Spot In Heaven

I am subscribed to a number of dog pages and groups on Facebook and every now and then, I get to read about plights of pets who have been voilated and abused by indecent human beings. These stories come with photos or videos and some of it can be disturbing. You know what I'm talking about. You've probably come across many of these yourself.

To some extent, watching or looking at the photos/videos is torturous and so heart-breaking that my husband would often wonder why I like subjecting myself to these.  It isn't that I like this...emotional porn. Sometimes, I do wonder why I follow these groups only to breakdown and lose sleep over updates I've read. But I believe in their cause and I am behind what they do; maybe also slightly envious, but grateful, that there are people who can volunteer for it.

Charitable groups on Facebook aren't just limited to pets. There are countless of legitimate organizations that really do what they can to spread and seek support for whatever advocacy they represent. Like the dog pages/groups I follow, they provide facts and information about what happened to the victim --- man, woman, child or animal --- and *properly detail* what people can do to help. This last part is what's really the most important one, I think.

And then there are certain groups that post images like this below:

1 Like = 10 Pray :(
1 Share = 1$

To which Boromir says:

Here's another image I've seen being reposted for a couple of years now:

Note that there really isn't a lot of information about who this child is, what happened to her and where people can extend their help for her. It's most likely that this came from a page or group that is not a charitable organization at all, and probably just a random page that wants to increase its member-base.

Too cool, but selfish?  More like uninformed and uneducated.

I know it's tempting to put something like this on our wall, because I get that it makes one feel good about "doing something". But reposting the image delivers false advocacy, a misguided sense for doing good, and probably even a kind of exploitation. How can reposting or liking an image change what happens to the victim? How do we really help the cause when there's hardly any information and all we're doing is liking and reposting?

The problems are real outside of these social media sites, which means we can 1) either resist reposting (or liking) as a slacktivist, or 2) actually be proactive and do something for these causes.

Often, people who actually do something --- like donate, contribute, sign-up, reach-out, or volunteer --- need not put it on their walls for friends to like and repost.

Like this post if you agree. :P

I Am Grateful That Thorns Have Roses

First post in December!

I'd like to make it a habit to start every month with a gratitude post...that is, if I can keep this blog going. *fingers crossed*

I'm on my second week of accomplishing this weekend gig of running an international women's site and it has been quite a joy to do. It was more than I could hope for.

When I saw the want-ad for this, I knew in my gut it was meant for me.  Despite the long and tedious process and the hassle of getting the contract signed, I really had set my sights on it. I did't let the dream go.

There are some quirks to the job, though. And small sacrifices have to be made. Like losing 22 hours of my weekends. Or having to sit loooooooong hours to do my work continuously, I feel my butt expanding again.

But these are minor stuff I could live with, when there are so many things I can learn from what I'm doing.

So, barring all that, thank you, Universe... for letting things fall where they should be.

#thankyoumoreplease

In Which I Endorse Relationship Time-Outs

Sixteen years of living with my baby-daddy, I learned that there is no *secret* to staying together. There is only a lot of hardwork and most of all, the willingness to do that work.

This article ---  Forget sex, the secret to a long-lasting relationship is space --- suggests one tip, though.

I don't necessarily agree that this is the *only* recipe for a good relationship. Not every recipe works. No tip is one-size-fits-all.

But I did learn, not too long ago, that you do need the time to be by yourself, so that you can always give your best in any relationship.

Often, couples forget who they are when they get married. Women are especially vulnerable to morphing into roles to fulfill duties --- mom, wife, errand girl, cook, backscratcher, laundry lady, stylist, financial adviser, driver, tutor, superwoman and so on. Our natural tendency to nurture is often taken to mean that we have to put our husband and kids first before ourselves.

I think this notion is dangerously part of the reason why many marriages crumble and many women's spirits break down.

I used to read this mom blog that kept stressing on the importance of having a "me-time"; of taking a time-out from her husband and three kids. I never really got that before. The concept was alien to me since I've always prided myself in being hands-on with everything concerning my family. I was supposed to be SuperMom and Wonder Wife, right?

Only, resentment has been eating its way into my own relationship with my partner. Years of putting up with each other's crap became a chore, when it shouldn't be the case. It came to a point where we got too tired of making the relationship work.

Turns out, I wasn't really happy with the wife/mother role that society's standards conventionally assigned to me.  I had piles and piles of resentments. And my husband, among other things, wasn't happy I was turning into this arrogant bitch with my baggage of resentments. He checked out of Resentment Hotel, where I was booked at the penthouse.

In making sure that my family's needs were met, I forgot I also have needs that can't be fulfilled by just doing my role as a mom and wife. It struck me that the only way I can become a better wife and mother is if I become a better person first. And I can't be a better person if I equate happiness with being wife and mother *alone*.

Women, forget conventions!  There is more to you than that!

Issues in our relationship still spring surprises now and then and we still struggle through it. But I'd like to believe that we've become reasonable, happier and more tolerable people to live with, since giving each other space, allowing us to take little journeys of self-discovery.

This Is Where I Rant About Having Dogs. No Judging!

This was true for me before: I'd rather have dogs than babies. For many reasons, like having endured a long and hard labor with my first-born, or economics, I thought that raising babies would be more challenging and I didn't think we would still enjoy going through all that.

Don't get me wrong. I used to dream of raising five kids. I had their full names picked in college. My main ambition in life was to become a stay-at-home mom, tend to cute little kids, cook, bake, clean the house (check! check! check!), just like the grandmother who raised me.

But sometime ago, when the thought of extending the family came up, I negated the idea immediately. My reasons were pretty simple, if not petty:

• Dogs are low maintenance.
• Dogs will never go to school. So, the hubs and I don't have to worry about college tuition.
• Dogs will never grow up, unlike babies. Who will decide that, by the time they're teenagers, Mom is not the center of their world anymore. 

We set our sights on getting a Jack Russell, as influenced by a favorite TV show. Then one Jack Russell became two, because we didn't want the new dog baby to be lonely.

And then they bred.  And then suddenly, we had 7 of them running around the house --- two females, five males. And then, foolishly, we decided to keep them all.

Here's the thing about Jack Russells, as I've read in books when we had the first one: it's a bad, bad idea to keep 3 of the males in a small house.  They're highly-strung and they will need to exhaust all that energy. If we lived in a farm, it wouldn't be such a problem coz they can run free and keep themselves busy all the time.

But because we don't own a farmhouse with a vast backyad, and because I'm such a know-it-all, I didn't believe what the book said. 5 boys? Pfft! How hard can that be? I've had countless dogs in my childhood. I know what I'm in for!

Fast forward three years later and I'm slowly re-assessing my thoughts on babies vs. our dogs.

Seven Jack Russells? Soooooooooooooooooo NOT low maintenance!

• Babies can be toilet-trained. Dogs can, but I've got two or three in the pack that just wouldn't want to be taught. We really need to clean up after them. Clean up more than usual. The other week I also discovered that one of the girls pees on my son's bed, if his room is open and no one is watching. What the hell?! I thought she knows her spot by now?? 
• Babies learn to be civilized by going to school. They pick up social graces. Dogs can get obedience training. But without reinforcement, they go back to being brutes. They are wired that way. There are days when I just do not have the energy to reinforce or if I leave it to others to do that, the dogs will not want to follow. Plus, with seven of these high-energy Jack Russells in one roof together, with their personalities clashing? A riot can happen at any time. It's instinct, since anything can set them off.
• Babies grow up to live their own lives. By the time they're adults, parents can enjoy their own lives in retirement. Our dogs will FOREVER be babies relying on someone else to tend to them. And that's usually me. Dang it! I would be 60, but I would still have babies. 

It is hard being a mom. I learned that in all 15 years and counting.

It is a million times harder to become a dog mom of seven. I learned that in less than 3 years.

Dogs, like babies, can be awfully jealous, attention-seeking and selfish. When you're having a bad day, they can either perk you up or suck whatever life is left from you. In my case? Seven lives out of me.

On the other hand, dogs do give unconditional love and their loyalty is so intact. Hugging seven of them can be a total stress reliever.  I could stay with them on the floor for hours, just scratching their bellies. It's monumentary bliss I relish. Until one of them starts to demand for attention again.

Houston, We Have A Body Image Problem!

Society has a lot of issues with body image, even mannequins aren't eating right!

For instance, this mannequin was spotted in a GAP store in London. Its leg is so skinny, I'm not even sure if they're attracting buyers for those jeans. Would you wanna look that thin in those? Bird-legs are scary-looking.

Sidenote: GAP jeans, especially for women, aren't the most flattering pieces to wear. The way it fits is always problematic, no matter what body type. AVOID at all cost!

Photo from this site.

I don't know which store this mannequin is from. But other than being huge, this big guy's hands are freakishly disproportioned!  Also, his shoulders are so broad that his head looks small; while his feet are small because his cankles are so bloated.

I'm getting a headache trying to process what is wrong with this image. It's not that I'm bothered there's a plus-size mannequin in existence. It's more because...this frame doesn't seem to be anatomically possible. I know it's only a "model", but...at least get it right, right?

Photo from Reddit.

Here's how he looks, all dressed up, ready to mingle at the 'hood: 

Photo from this site.

Is it just me, or does he not look like a plus-size version of Channing Tatum? :D

Channing Tatum. Perfect body.

I see the attempt in trying to be diversified. After all, only a small percentage of society is built with perfect bodies and realistically, a bigger portion of the world is now obese. Although I don't understand why those GAP mannequins even exist. Do you?

Consumerism and aggressive marketing campaign, however, has put a lot of emphasis on body image. It's pounded on us everyday with countless of blog posts, media, billboards, print ads and TV commericals everywhere telling us how we're supposed to look.  A growing number of young kids are too conscious of this, it's affecting their self-esteem. And that is sad.

We see campaigns to raise awareness for different causes: bullying, gender-equality, animal rights, [insert whatever disease here]...but where is the noise for the campaign for body confidence and self-image? This is the kind of social problem we've shoved under the rug, unfortunately.

Diet Tip: This Is How You Should Portion Food? NO WAY.

One of the downsides to aging (ahuhuhu!) is making an effort to eat right and healthy. I did not used to like veggies before and I gorged on a lot of junk food. But my body has been sending me signals this year, with my hormones acting up big time.

What I learned from observing what my body is going through is that, when I follow what's mostly on the bottom part of this pyramid, I generally have little episodes or I am more immune from catching a cold, for example.

A sample of a food pyramind

Sticking to a healthy diet isn't always easy because...who doesn't like eating rich, flavorful, high-calorie food? They taste the best!

I don't believe in deprivation diets, when you're forced to give up good-tasting food because all that calorie and cholesterol is supposed to make your body lethargic, older and less healthier. With that in mind, I've resorted to eating what I want, while committing to be disciplined in doing portion control.

HAHA. Discipline. Committing. Portion Control. Who am I kidding?

My version of portion control? Hardly involves a "well-balanced" meal. Sometimes, I would end up eating 5 to 6 helpings of turon (with lots and lots of brown sugar!) in one sitting (because FRUIT IS GOOD), while totally ignoring rice the rest of the day (CARBS? BAAAD!). And then I make up for it by eating lots of spinach for the week. (Because, apparently when you're becoming older, spinach can cure everything from skin and hair problems to cancer.) Only, I like my spinach overflowing cheese..and dairy is good coz it's rich in calcium, yes?

This brings me to this infographic posted on Nestle Fitnesse Philippines Facebook page on portion control. It's supposed to help avoid over-eating. Which is fine and good, except that no one seems to have any violent reactions on what's being recommended here.

Like, how can I enjoy what I eat when I'm only allowed a thumbful of cheese?! And I've got small hands...meat just bigger than my palm? THAT IS CRAZY!

No one also seems to mind that this infogaphic originally came from a site called Model Eats, where, I would assume, having a size 4 frame would be considered fat. The author, however, does have a gorgeous bod...so, maybe she is doing something right and I should just suck it up and stick with the diet.

Are you struggling with eating right? Got any tip?

The Story of Menstruation, as told Disney style

You got 10 minutes to spare? Coz that's how long this video is.

Produced by Disney in 1946 in collaboration with Kotex, this video was a part of a sex education campaign in America and was shown at public schools.

It's not the greatest animation Disney has done because I got bored by it after two minutes. It's pretty straight-forward. Clinical even. The standard music used and voice of the old lady talking in the video made me sleepy. But considering this was released in the 40's, there's not a lot to expect.

If this was created in this decade (or century), obviously, this video would be loaded with computer animation and Disney princesses would be singing and dancing all around, the same way you see women in napkin or tampon commercials move about, when they're not even worrying about menstrual cramps and migraines!

Note that the cartoon baby in the first few minutes of this video looks like she's already wearing make-up. Like so:

This is a 25-year old baby. 

But the script is quite amusing!

"Not only can you bathe...you SHOULD bathe!"

Where did her boobies go??

"Just be careful to avoid either very hot water or very cold water. In fact, it's not a good idea at anytime to shock your system with extremes." DUUUUUH. LOL!

This lady is taking a bath under a hail storm. 

"Try not to get yourself off-schedule by getting overtired, emotionally upset, or catching cold." 
"After all no matter how you feel, you have to live with people. You have to live with yourself too."
HAHA. Does Disney know us women really well, or what??

Menstruation = drama queen. FACT.

You can watch the complete video here:

Life In Plastic, It's Fantastic?

I confess, I haven't been Barbie-educated in 25 or so years.

Because I've only been buying toys for little boys --- owing to the fact that I don't have a daughter; or that ALL my godchildren are boys (not my choice, it just happened!) --- I had no idea that the amount of multi-cultural versions of her one can find at stores these days, is enough to create a small, United Nations of 12-inch tall women. Or the doll version of a Miss Universe pageant.

Lately though, my one and only 5-year old niece has taken interest in Barbie and would prefer these dolls as gifts. Checking online for what type I could pick for her, it dawned on me that making just a single Barbie purchase is stressful!

I've been so clueless about the number of things Barbie's career and personal life have evolved into. The bitch apparently became an astronaut, was once a hacker, switched species to become a mermaid, and tried public service by ascending into the Presidency, no less. These she did while dealing with cancer and apparently a divorce, which turned out to be untrue.

What the?!

The Barbie I used to know only had wordly stuff to deal with like wardrobe choices, or living in a house with make-shift furniture. Or this:

Photo from Flickr

But, creatively so, Barbie's plastic-fantastic life has hit a lot of lows and highs than reality can handle.

So, when did Barbie's life get so complicated? And why does Mattel assume it's what little girls are looking for?

Have you gone Barbie shopping for your daughter or niece, only to find that you cannot pick which one to get because of the amount of Barbie choices laid before you?

Best Disclaimer Ever!

There's this status post going around on Facebook that lets you copy and paste a statement against the site's privacy violation. Its context: since Facebook has gone public, whatever you put there can be made public without your knowledge. And Facebook doing so apparently violates certain laws that were set in place, like, since the time of the Romans.

Or something like that.

I don't know anymore. The statement going viral has all this legal jargon that sounds really confusing to me. And it also reads like a very official, very grown-up statement, so I get why some of my friends have resorted to copy-pasting it.

Here's the thing though: the only way you can protect yourself and your privacy is if you actually stop using Facebook altogether. You can't claim Facebook breached terms of your privacy when the act of signing up for an account means you do acknowledge opening your soul to the site.

This guy said it best. You've got to love the irony:

Ironic Facebok Status

Conan O' Brien wrote his disclaimer, too. Seriously cracked me up:

Conan O' Brien's take on Facebook Privacy status

A couple of years since being on Facebook, I also grew paranoid of the thought that "liking" Fan Pages means giving its admin(s) the access to harvest my personal information. At that time, I've liked and "become a fan" of about 500+ different stuff. Believing that page admins can peek into my account even if they are not remotely connected to my own circle (ie: friends of friends), I spent a chunk of the day "unliking" these. So paranoid was I, that I made the effort to "clean" my profile.

Since running my own Fan Page on the site, however, I've realized that all that? Is a bunch of BS! And that the day I spent cleaning my account was actually a day wasted. I could never get that back.

There is, in fact, no way for people to look into your personal Facebook profile if you are not connected, page or group administrators included. And even if you are connected to some degrees, I've come to realize that Facebook's privacy settings is, get this --- FULLY CUSTOMIZABLE! It's most intact and safest to use. Meaning, you can keep information from prying eyes, stalkers, advertisers and terrorists disguised as friends.

Wait, that may not be 100% true. I don't work Facebook's backend, so I don't really know what it's like to have access to 800Million accounts (and growing!).

But I've been on the site since 2007 and:

• No one has come to my house to bother my family, based only on the fact that they know my birthdate and the college I went to.
• No authority has come to arrest me. I could not be arrested for posting my sentiments or status post about why my son has not texted back while in the mall with friends, right?
• No one has approached me to say I'm in their demographic and that maybe I should purchase their latest can opener inventions. 
• No one has called at ungodly hours to confirm "what's on my mind?" 
• No one has attempted to hack into my account and steal my photos. Maybe I haven't been posting raunchy stuff enough?
• No one has stolen my identity using various facets of what I've been oversharing on Facebook, like my childhood. Or my lunch last week.

And while it's true that Facebook has my soul since I'm on that site virtually 24/7 that I think they should pay me for being a diligent user , the bottomline is this:  I am the ONLY person responsible for what I put on the interwebs. And if my privacy has been violated, it's because I wasn't vigilant and careful about it in the first place.

The original status post that has been going around:

Viral Facebook status that's a hoax.

Also, worth a read: That Facebook Copyright Thing Is Meaningless and You Should Stop Sharing It

What's your take on this whole privacy issue with Facebook? Are there reasons why we should be afraid of it?