Back To Basics

I'm in another transition. And it has been happening for over a month. A wave of uncertainty has rocked my comfort zone. It's not like I couldn't do something about it. It isn't crippling. But transitions like this one, to a person who normally loves structure and routines and to someone who is used to overthinking every.single.thing? It's quite unsettling.

I've had sleepless nights thinking about stuff that only seem to escalate my anxiety. These thoughts start out harmlessly, but they almost always end up in death.

"What are my options?"
"Would I be able to do this?"
"What do I want?"
"Maybe I need to take a break?"
"If I take a break I might miss out on something."
"I guess a break isn't so bad."
"I could shop for new shoes!"
"Do I really need to spend on a new pair?"
"Maybe I should use that money to pay more bills."
"Bills...when will these end?"
"I will die paying bills."
"OMG! What if I die tomorrow?"
"My mind is exploding! Will someone please hold my hand???"

Talking about my dilemma among a few close friends, however, made me realize I've been agonizing over what others may call as #firstworldproblems. (Yes, mandatory hashtag included!)

In the course of figuring out what I should do next, I came across this quote, which currently serves as my daily mantra:

"In order to attract more of the blessings that life has to offer, you must truly appreciate what you already have..."

Transitions...changes...these don't necessarily mean losses. It took me a while to realize that I didn't really lose anything. I was holding on to something that, on hindsight, wasn't supposed to be a permanent deal. I just wasn't ready to let go of it at that time.

But in "losing" that, I actually gained something. Like, more time for my personal growth (naks!) and more options to get my groove back. Only, right now, I still don't know how to deal with all of it.

To start the ball rolling, however, I created this blog to motivate me.

Back to basics. Back to blogging. As in really blogging old school style. About stuff I'd like to voice out for. About stuff that actually matter in real life conversations.

Hopefully, this isn't going to be just a distraction. I seriously want to create something from this and I've already set up a plan. So, I'm taking the first step. Hold my hand, will you?