About

I'm in another transition. And it has been happening for over a month. A wave of uncertainty has rocked my comfort zone. It's not like I couldn't do something about it. It isn't crippling. But transitions like this one, to a person who normally loves structure and routines and to someone who is used to overthinking every.single.thing? It's quite unsettling.

I've had sleepless nights thinking about stuff that only seem to escalate my anxiety. These thoughts start out harmlessly, but they almost always end up in death.

"What are my options?"
"Would I be able to do this?"
"What do I want?"
"Maybe I need to take a break?"
"If I take a break I might miss out on something."
"I guess a break isn't so bad."
"I could shop for new shoes!"
"Do I really need to spend on a new pair?"
"Maybe I should use that money to pay more bills."
"Bills...when will these end?"
"I will die paying bills."
"OMG! What if I die tomorrow?"
"My mind is exploding! Will someone please hold my hand???"

Talking about my dilemma among a few close friends, however, made me realize I've been agonizing over what others may call as #firstworldproblems. (Yes, mandatory hashtag included!)

In the course of figuring out what I should do next, I came across this quote, which currently serves as my daily mantra:

"In order to attract more of the blessings that life has to offer, you must truly appreciate what you already have..."

Transitions...changes...these don't necessarily mean losses. It took me a while to realize that I didn't really lose anything. I was holding on to something that, on hindsight, wasn't supposed to be a permanent deal. I just wasn't ready to let go of it at that time.

But in "losing" that, I actually gained something. Like, more time for my personal growth (naks!) and get my groove back. Only, right now, I still don't know how to deal with it.

To start the ball rolling, however, I created this blog to motivate me.

Back to basics. Back to blogging. As in really blogging old school style. About stuff I'd like to voice out for. About stuff that actually matter in real life conversations.

Hopefully, this isn't going to be just a distraction. I seriously want to create something from this and I've already set up a plan. So, I'm taking the first step. Hold my hand, will you?

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I've been keeping blogs since 2005 and divorcing from these blogs for various reasons.  This would've have to be my 9,504th attempt but I'm determined to stick with this for the long haul. Also, I exaggerate a lot. :P

In addition, I'm also:

...somebody's partner in life.
...somebody's mom.
...someone who thinks her dogs are real babies.
...somebody's friend.
...somebody annoying.
...someone who has too many things to say.
...someone who makes you laugh.
...someone who can laugh at herself.
...someone who makes no shame admitting she has vanities.
...someone who writes for a living.
...someone who has too many things going on in her head.
...someone who likes order and neatness.
...someone who likes to clean cabinets fairly regularly.
...someone who gets four hours of sleep during school season.
...someone who is constantly on Facebook.
...someone who loves music and who used to sing and dance in front of people.
...someone who Tweets.
...someone who likes to get into the bottom of things.
...someone who gets cranky at times.
...someone who loves sweets.
...someone who loves the rain.
...someone who has many ideas.
...someone who isn't creative, visually.
...someone who forgives.
...someone who survived.
...someone who is grateful for so many things.